A lack of understanding seems to be a recurring theme in many of the conversations I have with people these days. Our individual skill at communicating has a direct effect on the quality of all our relationships, which in turn has a direct effect on the quality of our careers and ultimately, our lives. Communicating is a process, or exchange of ideas, used to establish understanding. Deep understanding leads to good decision making and healthy relationships. Poor understanding leads to errors in judgment and strained relationships.

    There are two main elements to communicating; talking and listening. Most of us find the first element (talking) easy to do and quite enjoyable, especially when we are the subject, but unfortunately, talking doesn't guarantee being understood. The second element (listening) is not as easy, enjoyable or widely practiced.

     Poor listening skills are a major contributor to misunderstandings between, co-workers, business associates, family members, and friends.

    When I'm talking with someone (trying to express my ideas to create understanding) I try my best to consider his/her point of view, background, education level, and so on, before choosing the words and phrases I will use. Before opening my mouth, I make sure I'm speaking the right language. By doing this I reduce the chance of being misunderstood.

     When I'm listening to someone (trying to understand the ideas being expressed) I try to remember that listening is more than just hearing the words and nodding my head occasionally, making it seem as though I am paying attention. I refrain from thinking ahead to what I want to say next, and really focus my full attention on the speaker. I ask questions to clarify if something is unclear, and occasionally restate what I've heard so the speaker can affirm my understanding, or provide more detailed explanation.

     There is always room for improvement when it comes to communicating, so the next time you're in a conversation with someone stay mindful of these two elements. Before opening your mouth, make sure you're speaking the right language, and focus your full attention on the speaker when it's your turn to listen. Continue to develop your skills in this area and watch the quality of your relationships soar to new heights!